Forget me not
by Decipher Philosophy
Summary: Squalo has amnesia and doesn't believe that he was ever in love with Xanxus.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I realized that a lot of fanfictions or anything fan related to Squalo has** the tendency to forget **that his left hand was cut off and replaced with a prosthetic one (in my story it'll be metal with a pocket that hides the sword inside. It's easier than always having to wrap bandages) when he was fourteen and Xanxus is two years older than him so he did it not long before Xanxus was frozen. How long did they even know each other before that happened? It's true love!

P.S. Mammon is twelve years old in this since it's passed ten years since the arcobaleno's curse broke and he was only two during the time.

P.S.S. Xanxus is older but he still has his childish attitude because every time I think about anime TYL Xanxus, I can't help but think about Stewie from family guy. XD

Forget me not

He felt uncomfortable on his bed. A pain aching at his skull and the loss feeling of his left hand. His eyes fluttered open to get a clear vision of where he was. He lied there for a moment to get his brain going. Thinking about how the room was white, a machine beeping and fluids hanging in a bag.

The sunshine coming from the windows and the sound of other people outside th door constantly talking or shifting things around. The man sat up feeling a sense of urgency kicking at his skull but nothing came to mind. Everything around him was new and faint to his senses. He feels withdrawn from everything somehow.

The door opens and a man enters. The man had dark hair and skin decorated with scars and burn marks on his face and feathers with beads hanging over his left shoulder. He was dressed in a suit but had the coat hanging on his shoulders instead and boots reminding the distant man of pirates.

"Finally awake you piece of shit?" The man told him brusquely making the other man on the bed look at him with an expression of wide-eyed curiosity. He had vague feelings of the insult and was more interested in what the man or should he think pirate would do next.

"Oi, you piece of trash, say something." The man demanded and nothing came to mind but a question.

"Who are you?"

The man looked at him in shock and then shook it off. "Don't fuck with me. You very well know who I am!" he glared at him.

The other thought he just insulted him and felt unsure of what to do except feel guilty. "I'm sorry. I really don't know who you are. Do you know who I am?" He asked in a pleasant tone but that seemed to set the man at more unease. "Did I do something wrong?"

The other man slid the door open with a bang yelling out another name, "LUSSURIA!"

"Yes boss!" A man with a red and green mohawk appeared which was quite disturbing considering how gayly the man was.

"Fix the idiot!" He ordered but the other was confused.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"The idiot has freaking amnesia!"

"Oh, i'm sorry boss but I can't do anything."

"Why the fuck not?" The boss asked trying to control his temper from shock.

"Because amnesia comes from the brain. My healing abilities can only heal physical wounds by multiplying new cells. I can't heal old ones." He explained and then left as happy as ever. "So I'll be on my way!"

The man on the bed watched the other who was silent in deep thought. He took the time to explore himself to realize his left hand was metallic with some kind of metallic pocket. He tried to focus one eye to see what was in it to almost have his eye cut out by a sword popping out in a second.

"Hey trash. We're going home." The man with the scars and feathers told him.

"But I don't know who you are or who I am." He mentioned poking at the sword that returned back to his surprise.

"I'm Xanxus, your boss and your Squalo, my trash."

"Your trash?"

"Yeah. A piece of shit nobody wants but me. Let's get outta here." The man who called himself Xanxus turned away towards the exit.

Squalo, the man believe he was named got on his feet but fell and the needles stuck in his arm by tape were pulled out. "Ow!" He got on his knees holding his bleeding arm fighting back the tears.

Xanxus sighed. "Get up trash. We don't got all day."

Squalo tried to get up but he didn't know how to balance his legs. He was in an awkward position but it seemed to keep him up and then he tried taking a few steps trying to get a hang of it. Impatient, Xanxus just took the man into his arms bridal style to get the hell out of there.

The ride back to where the man was told was his home was silent. They arrived at what appeared to be a castle. Squalo stared in awe at the magnificent huge building. He couldn't believe he could live in such a place compared to the other buildings back at the town.

"Hurry up trash." Xanxus ordered walking into the place. Squalo hurried after him but fell immediately remembering that his legs could barely walk. His nose bled from the impact of the ground that he couldn't hold back his tears.

The older man sighed again and then picked up the man-child. "You're becoming a real pain in the ass."

"I-I'm sorry. I'll try to remember as quickly as possible!"

"Don't get blood on my shirt!"

"Sorry!"

Squalo was carried into a room that was neatly made. A big bed meant for two in the colors of powdered blue. He was thrown on the soft furniture carelessly and then given a napkin to wipe his bloody nose and hands.

"Stay here." His boss ordered before leaving the room. Squalo stayed on that bed enjoying the plush softness. Was this his room? He really liked it. The soft bed, the window doors to the balcony while light was shining into the room, the portraits of the sea and other beauties of death and atrocities but also a mixture of life. One in particular was a lion that was shown to be the king of the jungle and a shark swimming in a pond.

The man got comfortable but then curiosity was bugging him. He got up and looked at himself in the mirror. His skin was tan and his silver hair reached to his waist. His right hand's fingers running through the silk. He took a sniff of it and it smelled nice for not being taken care of for a while.

Now that he thinks about it, what was he doing before all this...

"Ushishishi! Squalo-san has amnesia. This could be interesting." Bel stated during the meeting the Varia members were having without Squalo. "What're you going to do boss?"

"How the fuck should I know?"

"But boss, if Squalo doesn't remember anything, then that means that you need to replace him, right?" Levi asked a little too hopefully.

"Shut up scum."

"Much to my dismay, Levi is right. There is a possibility that it could become permanent putting us at a disadvantage. Squalo will only become a problem for us." Mammon stated without sympathy in his words.

"But we can't just throw him away!" Lussuria exclaimed.

"That depends on how useful Squalo can be to us. Until then, we'll have to try recovering his memory. If nothing works, then we have no choice." The child stated reasonably. No one disagreed.

Xanxus felt uneased about the situation but showed and said nothing about it. He began remembering memories he would've considered useless remembering about in the first place but now they felt precious.

After the meeting on tactics to revive the man's memory, Xanxus entered the room to see the man purely naked as the day he was born in front of a body-length mirror. He turned his head innocently at the man with a slight blush on his face.

"Xanxus?" He said the name without spite or gritty with pride. It sounded so clean and innocent that the man wanted to puke. It felt like someone stole something that belonged to him.

"Trash. What are you doing?" He asked calmly.

"I was curious about myself so I thought I'd check out how I looked first. I have a lot of scars on my body. I didn't think I would when my hair is this shiny and soft. I wonder why I grew it out in the first place." He ran his right hand through the hair mindlessly that irked his boss to grab his wrist. "Ow! That hurts! What're you doing?!"

Xanxus let him go when he realized what he was doing. The scared stranger landed on the bed. "Jerk! What was that for?!" Squalo held his bruised wrist.

"Shut up." The man said distantly.

"Idiot! I don't care if you're my boss! You can't treat me like this!" He shouted at him but it wasn't rough. Instead it was a tone of fear in his words.

Xanxus grabbed a fist full of his hair forcing him to look up at the man's face. "I can do whatever the fuck I want to do."

The ex-swordsman trembled in fear and then gritted his teeth. He grabbed the man's wrist trying to make him let go. "No! You can tell whoever I was what to do! I don't care about who you are! You're nothing but a bastard!"

Xanxus threw the man roughly from his grip showing no signs of sympathy for him. For a moment he thought the man was an imposter of Squalo but every nook or cranny was exactly like Squalo's. The softness of the hair to the scarred and ruined body of the man but still had many cleared flawless parts too. Most notably, the face...the lips...

The Boss clenching his fist with the thought that he could never touch them again. The idea was thrown away and he was frustrated. "So annoying. If that's how you feel then leave."

"What? But I only got here!" The ex-swordsman spoke the words like a small frightened child.

"I don't care. It's either you do as I say or get out of here. You're choice."

The frightened child surprised by the statement. Xanxus took a short look before turning. "Wait! I'm sorry! I'll do whatever you say! Please let me stay!" He begged.

The man turned to him. "Then better remember something trash." And then the man left.


	2. Chapter 2

Squalo was in the middle of the ocean. Fishes swimming all around him. A shark in particular was coming at him. The first reaction was to run and hide but the man felt calm at its presence. "Do you know who I am?" He asked calmly.

The shark swam around him and then pushed him out of the water. The sunlight blinding him at first glance. Everything turns white and then nothing but black.

"Squalo!" The gayly man comes in in an apron.

Squalo sat up tiredly to see the picture of the lion and the shark in the pond. "G'morning." He rubbed his tired eyes.

"And a good morning to you! Get up! You'll be late for breakfast! Since you don't have your memories, I'll help you get dressed!" The gayly man helped him up and threw clothes at him. "Do you need help to shower or anything?"

"Ah?..." He checked in his mind if he knew how to and was pretty sure he did but he took a glance at the mirror and remembered the delicate situation with his hair. "Can you please help me wash my hair?" He asked with a dust of pink on his cheeks.

"Huh? Okay! I'll prepare a bath for you! There's a second toilet through that door. You had that installed since the boss would disturb you during your shower." Lussuria laughed whole heartedly.

"Was I and the boss close?"

"You don't know? Of course you don't! You and the boss were lovers not that you announced it or anything but surely didn't hide it! All those nights you would scream out his name! Mammon did sell a huge number of pornos of you two!" The ex-swordsman was beat red.

"We should hurry! Hurry!" The gayly man went into the first bathroom. Squalo set the clothes on the bed and walked to the second door.

In the bath, Lussuria was very gentle with his hair. "This is a miracle! You never let anyone but Xanxus touch your hair!"

"Because we were lovers?"

"It's also because you promised that you wouldn't cut your hair until both of your goals were reached."

"By not cutting my hair? That's really weird."

"It is but seeing how beautiful it is, I'm glad that you didn't cut it. The rich and shining silver of your hair reminds me of that of a sword." The man told him happily.

"A sword? Oh right! How come my left hand is like this?" He showed his metallic left hand and the sword that would pop out."

"That's a long story but okay! Almost twenty years ago, you defeated the sword emperor Tyr who fought without his left hand. To understand what he was going through, you cut off your left hand and replaced it with a mechanical sword! You were also romantically involved with Xanxus that time."

"We've been together for almost twenty years?"

"Actually for a little over ten years. Xanxus was frozen for eight years shortly after you became the sword emperor. You were suppose to be the new Varia leader but you gave it to him instead."

"Why and how was he frozen?"

"That's a story for another time. You'll remember when you have your memories back! We need to go to breakfast!" Lussuria helped him out of the tub and dressed him in what was suppose to be his Varia uniform. They walked to the dining room and Squalo stopped at the entrance while Lussuria took his seat.

The man was greatly shocked by the other people at the dining table. Lussuria took the pleasure of stating who each of them were. There was a goth (Mammon), a heavy metal emo (Levi), a man wearing a tiara (Bel), and the sadist (Xanxus).

"Trash, you sit over here." The sadist stated grumpily at the seat next to him.

Squalo felt reluctant remembering yesterday but then felt sympathetic remembering Lussuria telling him that they were lovers. To not distant the gap for the sake of him and whatever they were, he sat down and saw the table of food. He looked down at his plate and felt too nervous to eat considering how he walked before.

"What's wrong trash?" Xanxus questioned in frustration. The man opened his mouth but only air was sucked in. "You answer me when I ask you a question trash." He growled.

Squalo felt uncertainty as the words weren't even coherent in his mind. "I'm...nervous." He said quietly surprising the others. It was their first time seeing the loud rashful man fidget nervously and quietly like a school girl.

"It's just breakfast trash."

"I know that!" He felt insulted to be talked to like an idiot which seemed appropriate but still rude. "I'm just not...sure."

"Sure about what? Just eat your fucking food."

"In second thought, I'm not hungry." Squalo was but he didn't want to eat with such a rude man. If they were lovers, he expected some respect from the stupid man!

Xanxus grabbed his bruised wrist. "_**Eat**_." He growled menacingly.

The man winced at the pain. When it looked like the man wasn't going to go anywhere, Xanxus let him go. Squalo rubbed his bruised wrist biting his lip to not cry. He wasn't going to embarrass himself because of this man!

The boss looked at his lackeys to see them staring at him. Their expressions stating wariness. "What are you looking at scums? Get back to eating!" He ordered and then continued eating in silence.

Squalo took his spoon and ate slowly feeling reluctant to oblige to the man's orders. The food tasted good but he was too stubborn to each much.

"Ushishishi! Squalo, do you remember who I am?" The man in the tiara asked.

"Uhm Bel, right?...nothing comes to mind." He answered lightly.

"How about me?" The emo pointed at himself.

"I'm sorry but I don't know who all of you are."

"Is that so? Then you wouldn't mind that I sold some of your stuff?" Mammon asked.

"I'm not sure I should."

"I can assure you that you wanted me to sell them before you lost your memories." The child told him reassuringly and the man felt like he shouldn't be disrespectful like a certain someone.

"Okay...Mind if I ask a question? What was I doing before I lost my memory?" He asked in excitement to fill in new pieces of the mystery.

"You were on a mission to stop a mafia organization that was against us. Their headquarters were located in the middle of the ocean. You succeeded but also nearly drowned. You were found by fisher men at an island nearby unconscious after a few days." The greedy one responded.

"Fisher men? You guys didn't look for me?" The ex-swordsman felt hurt.

"We never had to. It's either you win or die. Losing was never an option." Xanxus responded without looking at the man but his words sounded honest and slightly proud making the other one feel proud about himself. The feeling felt amazing for some reason.

So on, Squalo was left with Mammon who wanted to quickly sell the stuff. Squalo was sitting on the bed while the little boy was clicking away with his calculator.

"I'm fine with selling it all except for that one." He pointed at the portrait of the lion and shark.

"Why? It doesn't mean anything to you."

"I don't know. For some reason I don't want to. Maybe my memories lie on this picture." Squalo explained touching the portrait.

"..." Mammon ignored it and continued clicking away with the calculator.

"Mammon was your name right."

"Hmmm?"

"Xanxus and I were lovers right?"

"Yes." He sighed.

"How was our relationship like?" The swordsman asked with a wide-eyed expression that made him look truly innocent. He doesn't remember losing his virginity and he felt some sort of rush to know.

"It was the relationship of abusive lovers. You'd let him hit you and you wouldn't hit back no matter how drastic it was. Bel asked you why you let him go through such lengths when he'd see all the bruises and bite marks all over your body."

Squalo frowned at the response feeling weak and disturbed at the moment. He looked away hugging himself to feel a form of comfort. Mammon didn't like it. He shouldn't care but the sight of Squalo withdrawn and weak was irritating.

"You loved him and you weren't ashamed about it. Shame was never a word you'd use. You were named Superbi Squalo because you took pride in everything you did." The child told him as words of comfort.

The man expressed emotions of denial but also felt some sort of puzzle given again. He was the prideful swords emperor who was in love with Xanxus in an abusive relationship. He believed in everything except for the part where he was in love with Xanxus. "Why was I in love with him?"

"Don't know. Don't care."

"But you have a lover don't you?" He mentioned and the child blushed.

"No I don't!"

"But Bel said-"

"Don't listen to him! Fon is not my lover! That hippie is an idiot who won't leave me alone!"

"Is that so Mammon?" The hippie entered the room. "I was hoping that we could enjoy mapo tofu together for lunch this afternoon but since you want to be alone-"

"Wait!" He reached his hand out as a signal to stop and then blushed. "I want to eat mapo tofu."

"Please?" He smirked.

"It'll cost you five hundred." He grumbled.

"I can live with that." Fon, 12, handed over the five hundred making the other child blush redder. "Pl-please. I hate you."

"I love you too. I'll be waiting for you outside. I'll set the picnic ready until you come." He kissed Mammon's cheek and then walked off.

"Stupid!" The boy called out angrily.

"So he's your lover? I'm surprised." Squalo commented looking at the lover walking away.

"Everyone is." Mammon grumbled clicking away furiously. Squalo felt a bit envious by the display of affection the child's lover was willing to show. He hasn't gotten an ounce from the bastard.

Squalo stared at the portrait while Mammon left grumbling indecent words. The lion was lying down on top of a hill with its head up and staring at him with its red eyes while the pond was at its right. The shark was swimming at a curve of the pond facing the lion.

And then he saw something glowing blue pass his door. He exit looking both ways and saw a tail of a shark. He ran to it and then bumped into who appeared to be Bel. "Sorry. Are you hurt?" He caressed the man's cheek while inspecting.

"No. I'm fine. Where are you going Squ-chan?" The blond asked feeling weird by the affectionate touch.

"I thought I saw a shark pass through here. I think I'm losing my mind." The silver haired man smiled feeling at ease for some reason around the man with the tiara.

"You must've seen Alo. You're box animal."

"Box animal?"

"Right. You don't remember? Alo is your pet. You can summon him by calling for him." The prince explained.

"Really? Alo?" He called out looking around but no one came.

"You need to be more aggressive. He won't recognize you as its master."

"Oh...uhm, Alo! Come here this instant!" He shouted but didn't sound angry. The prince found him pathetic.

"You need to sound angry. Pretend the shark is boss." He suggested the idea.

"But isn't he my pet?"

"Don't be mistaken. He's a shark and if you don't treat it like your his master, he'll eat you." Bel lied but then it might help.

Squalo believed him so planted his feet revealing his sword emitting his blue flame shouting from the top of lungs, "Alo! You better get here or I'll tear you to shreds!"

The shark appeared in a split second at fast speed that a regular person would be scared but Squalo remembered that shark and again, he felt calm by its presence. The shark slowed down in front of him.

"This is the same shark from my dreams." The ex-swordsman pointed out and then caress its head.

"Never heard any of them do that before. Maybe it'll help you remember."

"No. Alo told me that he's just like me. He was only able to find me through my loud voice since sharks rely on sound waves in order to find its way around."

"That explains why you shout so much."

"Sempai, I'm bored." Another man wearing a frog hat walked over to them. "Oh, Squalo-sempai, do you have your memories back?"

"No." Squalo answered staring at the boy with green hair.

"Well then Squalo, Flan and I are going out." He told the man.

"Okay. Make sure to be safe." The man patted his head gently.

Bel felt weird again. "You should see boss. If anything, he's the reason you're alive." The blond walked away holding the frog man's hand. Squalo didn't know what to think about that statement.

"Sempai, what was that all about?" Flan asked.

"Nothing."

"You know I feel jealous."

"Ushishishi! Jealous about what?"

"That you'll allow Squalo-san to pet you like that. I want to pet you too." They entered the elevator.

"I see."

"Bel-Sempai?" Flan was kissed before the elevator doors were closed.

Squalo felt more envious to see another couple in the Varia be sweet and honest too. Xanxus barely said anything to him and where was he? He had to admit that he was scared of the man but also felt smitten by his bastard attitude afterwards. He thought that he must be into bad boys. The man was handsome. He couldn't lie about that.

He looked down at his shark waiting patiently beside him. "Do you think I should see the bastard?" The shark swam away.

Squalo followed it back to his room and then the shark phased through a closet. He walked over to it to open the drawers to see his folded clothes and other random items but one drawer was locked. "Huh?" He tried again to make sure. It was definitely locked.

He looked around and then back at the drawer. Squalo withdrew his sword and stabbed the locked off. He felt kind of guilty doing this but it was his stuff. He found a journal with a cover made of brown leather. Its cover had words etched into it entitling, "Eight years".

He opened the book to see that it dated back to when he was fourteen and Xanxus was frozen.

VOOOI! WHY IS EVERYONE TELLING ME TO CALM DOWN?! I'M GOING TO CALM DOWN WHEN I WANNA CALM DOWN! RAAAAH! I WANT TO STAB SOMEONE TO DEATH SO BADLY! I DID BUT THAT PERSON WAS SUPPOSE TO GO ON A MISSION! SO I HAVE TO VENT ALL MY FRUSTRATION ON THIS STUPID BOOK!

Turned out that Mammon and Bel weren't lying that he was all about pride and being loud. He could already hear how loud he was by just reading the journal but then he needed to remember as quickly as possible so continued but he had skimmed through some boring complaining crap about missions, members and nonmembers of the Varia (mostly directed to Lussuria), etc. He finally stopped to initially read when it finally came to Xanxus.

...IT'S BEEN THE FIRST WEEK SINCE XANXUS WAS FROZEN BY HIS SHITTY FATHER! I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET MORE INFO BEHIND WHAT XANXUS REVEALED DURING THEIR BATTLE. IT WAS A SHOCK AND I REALIZED THAT OUR GOAL COULD NOT BE REACHED...

BUT I STILL VISIT HIM AT THE PLACE OF HIS IMPRISONMENT...AND PRAY. I DON'T BELIEVE IN RELIGIOUS SHIT LIKE THAT BUT I FUCKING NEEDED TO! I'M NOT GOING TO ABANDON HIM! I'M GOING TO FIND A WAY! I'M GOING TO FIND A WAY TO FREE HIM! JUST WAIT AND WATCH YOU SHITTY OLD MAN! I'M GOING TO FREE XANXUS NO MATTER HOW FUCKING LONG IT'LL TAKE ME!

That was the first day. He continued to read.

VOOOOI! IT'S BEEN TWO FUCKING WEEKS SINCE XANXUS HAS BEEN FROZEN AND I HAVEN'T LEARNED SHIT! HE'S STILL FUCKING STUCK IN THAT STUPID POSE IN THAT STUPID ICE! IT'S KINDA FUNNY TO LOOK AT IT.

That was the end of the second entry of the journal and there were faint wet marks that smeared the letters a little.

VOI! I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO SEE HIM FOR A MONTH! HE'S STILL THERE AND STILL IN THAT STUPID POSE. HEH! I'M GETTING TIRED OF THAT SNOTTY OLD BRAT NAMED BELPHEGOR. WHO THE FUCK CALLS THEIR KID BELPHEGOR?!

BUT HE'S FUCKING GOOD WITH KNIVES. HE HAS A FUCKING WEIRD LAUGH! I BET XANXUS WOULD BEAT THE HELL OUT OF THE KID FOR JUST GRINNING! THE OTHERS ARE ALSO FUCKING ANNOYING BUT THE NEXT TIME XANXUS WILL FACE THE SHITTY OLD MAN, WE'LL TAKE OVER THE VONGOLA! BLOOD OR NOT!

The entries were really short. The next few months was about him a lot of complaining crap. Growing up in the Varia seemed really hectic and life draining but he always had energy to complain and see Xanxus. It also revealed some truths about the Cradle affair.

After three years of the job and searching for a way to know more about him and free him, the Squalo from before took the habit of referring the journal as Xanxus.

I'M BACK XANXUS! I FINISHED MY MISSION! JUST A BUNCH OF IDIOTS TRYING TO RULE AGAINST ME! BUT I SHOWED THEM!

NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED. LUSSURIA IS GAY. LEVI IS AN IDIOT. BEL IS A WEIRDO AND MAMMON IS A GREEDY BASTARD. HARD TO TELL IF ITS A BOY OR A GIRL. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ANYWAY!

THE VARIA IS FIERCE AS EVER AND I'M STILL HERE TRYING TO FUCKING FIGURE OUT HOW TO UNFREEZE YOU!..EVEN IF I KNOW EVERYTHING, I'M STILL HERE XANXUS. I STILL LOVE YOU.

Squalo stopped reading and felt a subtle skip of a heartbeat at the ending. It was the first time through so many short entries that his past wrote I love you. Despite that, nothing else happened. He still remembered nothing.

Alo appeared swimming oddly in a tilted style of relying on one fin more than the other. "Is something wrong?" Squalo got off his bed leaving the journal there. The shark didn't look so well. "You should go rest if you're not feeling well." He told the shark and it swam away.

"Squalo! Did you have lunch?" Lussuria asked sweetly.

"Huh?" The man realized that it was already dark. He hadn't thought about the time even when it got too dark to read that he mindlessly turned on the lamp.

"Oh Squ-chan, you forgot didn't you! You must be famished! Come along! We're having your favorite seafood today!"

Dinner was silent even with Fon and Flan invited as guests. They looked content with the silence making the ex-swordsman feel silly for still feeling uncomfortable. Xanxus did not look at him or say a word. Squalo felt irritated because the man was suppose to help him remember but acts as if he didn't exist or maybe this was how the man always acted.

Fon started a conversation that made the mood lighter with some laughs at a blushing Mammon. For such a deadly organization and after reading about it, the loving family atmosphere was weird to a stranger's eyes but also comforting yet made him feel more of an outcast. What made him feel more unease was the looks Levi was giving him.

"Squalo, I heard from Mammon that you lost your memory." Fon stated. "I could help you remember them if you wish." He asked kindly.

"Uh..."

"Of course he would! Right boss?" Lussuria laughed whole heartedly but Xanxus just gave a grunt. "That was definitely a yes! Let's start right away tomorrow after breakfast! How long can you stay Fon?"

"As long as Mammon wishes me to stay."

"It'll cost you five hundred to stay in a room here each night!" The boy shouted.

"I guess not. I spent it for a please earlier. I'll sleep in the forest then." Fon smiled without a problem. He was one with nature so he'd be okay. Mammon just blushed grumbling.

After that, Squalo was getting ready for sleep by only taking off his shirt but then saw Alo swimming oddly again around him and then out the door. "Alo?" He followed the shark down the halls and then up the stairs towards a place that seemed familiar. As if walking through here should be natural. Like his footprints could be marked to the floor through the carpet.

He stopped at a door that was slightly open.

"Boss! If you don't interact with Squalo, there might be no chance of returning his memory!" Lussuria complained from a safe distance.

"Shut up. I don't want to have anything to do with that piece of trash."

Lussuria was silent. Squalo ran off when he was coming to the door. His heart was thumping a mile a minute until he reached his room. He stopped to breathe and then there was a knock on his glass door.

He opened it to see Levi. "Hey! Hey! You should leave!" He whispered excitedly.

"What?" Squalo was caught a little off guard but being able to leave the place sounded like a reward to his ears.

"You should leave! Boss doesn't need you anymore since you lost your memory so leave and never come back! I arranged everything! A car will pick you up and send you to wherever you want to go! There'll be some brochures if you're not sure!" Levi pushed Squalo to the balcony to see a rope tied to the edge.

"Why don't I take the front door?" The man asked not at all deterred from the idea of leaving. Honestly if he wasn't wanted here by his lover than it'll cause nothing but problems, wouldn't it. Plus he was useless. Maybe being somewhere else will do some good for him.

"No! You usually go out like this but make sure no one sees you! Now go!"

Squalo took the rope and then climbed down. Flan caught him but thought nothing of it since the Varia were a weird pack of people and he came from a village where climbing down ropes down castles weren't so common.

"Flan what're you thinking?" Bel asked after their hot heavy session.

"Hmmm? It's been bothering me. If Squalo-sempai was to leave in the middle of the night for no apparent reason to me, should I tell you?" He asked.

"Uh...Yeah, you should."

"Oh, he left before we did the dirty."

"HAH?! You should've said something in the first place!" The blond jumped out of bed quickly getting dressed. "Kaching!"

"But you were hard! Oi, Bel-sempai!" The frog man followed.

"Put on some clothes first!"

"Geeze, you're really noisy when it comes to Squalo-sempai."

"This isn't the time to be jealous!"

"Fine then."

"Yoooou!"

"You're starting to sound like him too!"

"Are we seriously having our first fight over this!"

"If it includes us and a strange man than yes!"

"Kachiiiiing! You're lucky you're cute!"

Squalo was walking along the path waiting for a car to show up. It was dark but Levi left a bag with a flash light, a map on the path he's suppose to stay on, and a few clothes to keep him warm during the night but the night felt pretty cool with its crisp breeze.

He felt kind of selfish and self centered for doing this. From his character analysis from obvious things about himself, he never did anything selfish. He would call for back up when he needed it and protect the other members much to the person he was own annoyance.

His favorite word was pride and he used to live it but with the amount of sanity and leadership to be a great comrade despite his constant threats of wanting to kill you.

Now he was running away because Xanxus did nothing to try and bring back the person he loved. The short conversation he heard said enough. After a few more debates of his actions, he began telling himself that he was saving himself from a world that can't live in as the person he was now.

The shark came to his view beside him. It was still swimming oddly by relying more on one fin than the other. "Alo, I told you to rest...what do you mean someone-" His head was smacked hard that he fell to the ground.

A car came up but didn't see him and then the driver called the man who rented it. "What?! He's not there?! But he should be! I gave him the map and everything so he could-"

"So he could what Levi?"

The lightning guardian dropped the phone when he could feel the heat rising in his room. He turned around twitching as he did so in fear. Lussuria was the one burning brightly with anger. When neither Xanxus or Squalo could do anything, he was next one in charge and he was greatly upset.

"Looks like sempai is gonna get it." Flan teased.

"Not unless I do it first." Bel revealed his multiple knives and Lussuria released more of his flames.

"Levi, we might not kill you but I don't see that as a possibility. No?" He cracked his knuckles.

"I'm sorry! I thought if Squalo was out of the picture, then I'd get a chance with boss!" And then he was beaten near death. Certainly his life flashed before his eyes but he was quite alive.

Lussuria washed the blood off his knuckles and then sighed walking out of his bathroom to his room where Flan and Bel were looking at information in the Varia database. "That Levi really is an idiot. Going so far just to impress boss. Not that I wouldn't have done it, if only I actually liked boss more but I have other interests."

"We've checked the security footage. It looks like Levi turned them off during the time so we don't know who Squalo's attackers are." Bel stated staring at several footages at the same time.

"But it's okay because Fon was able to rescue him." Flan point out.

"Yes but whoever tried to kidnap Squalo got away. We'll find them eventually."

Mammon entered the room. "Boss is still asleep."

They all sighed in relief. The last thing they needed was their boss tearing Italy to pieces. But Xanxus was awake and walked to Squalo's room to see Fon tending to a wound. "His head was slightly cracked and bleeding but Lussuria healed it into only a bruise."

"What the fuck happened?" He questioned angrily.

"It appears that Squalo tried to run away with Levi's help but was caught off guard when someone attacked him. Good thing I was close by."

"And where are the people who attacked him?"

"I'm afraid they got away. I didn't get to see their faces. But it looked like they weren't trying to kidnap him nor was it an assassination. Mammon and I checked anything suspicious but nothing suspicious was found."

Xanxus was silent while staring at the man with the left side of his forehead bruised. "Why the hell was he trying to run away? It's only been a day."

"It was either his instincts or someone must've told him to. People who are moved to a new enviroment often feel exposed that they rely on their instincts or following misdirected advice. Possibly a part of him wanted to get away from here or someone told him to." Fon explained kindly but Xanxus heard that double meaning tone. He glared at him and then glared at the unconscious man. "I'm finished here. I'll be in Mammon's room if you need me."

Xanxus didn't say anything. He took a chair and sat by the bed near the man he loved. He felt a slight topping of guilt on his chest that it annoyed him. He felt the urge to be honest with himself but he doesn't want to. It's only the first day out of the hospital dammit!

A/N: Okay, the journal part was hard for me because I realized that Squalo during those eight years are never truly told (But its most likely he just takes on suicide missions and visit Xanxus without truly working on potential...too busy obsessing over Xanxus) and it never said who unfroze Xanxus. I love the manga but seriously, if it's going to end once and for all, please fill in the gaps!


	3. Chapter 3

The cool breeze felt nice against his skin. The wind was blowing his silver hair from his face. The soft wet sand sinking his feet and rising in between his toes. The waves were icy cold but after a few minutes, it felt warm.

Every inch of him was naked while the red sun was setting slowly. Alo arrived out of the bright orange shore floating around him. "I'm Squalo."

"You're not me."

The man turned around and was in complete shock to see himself dressed in his Varia uniform. "You're not me!" He repeated and then withdrew his sword.

Squalo realized who the man was. "Then...then you're the real Squalo! You remember everything! You can help me!"

The man put his sword away. "I can't help a piece of shit like you!"

"What?! Why not?! You're the real me! Just take my place! Take back your life!"

"I don't want to!" He crossed his arms stubbornly.

"What do you mean you don't want to?!" Squalo flung his arms exasperately by the man's arrogance.

The man lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. He blew out the smoke to the guy's face. Squalo coughed and hacked by the disgusting odor. "VOOOI! I lived everyday for him but who cares now!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"I don't love him anymore!"

"Are you talking about Xanxus? Yes, you loved him!"

"Key word: Loved! Scum! But now he's just a shitty boss!"

Squalo was bewildered. "But you do! You said so in your journal! You waited for him for eight years!"

His memory withdrew his sword. "VOOOOI! I'm Superbi Squalo and I live for only myself!" He dissolved into water and drifted away by the waves.

"WAIT?!" And then a mighty roar disturbed him. He turned around to see a lion appear on top of a hill and roar.

Squalo sat up abruptly gasping for air and sweating profusely.

"Lie down trash. You're injured." Xanxus ordered with his eyes closed while sitting back on a chair having his fist hold his head.

Squalo felt the ache on his left skull. He lied back down feeling more relaxed. He watched the man on the chair. "What happened?" He asked.

"You tried to fucking run away then got your ass fucked. You're lucky someone was there to save your worthless ass." His ex-lover responded.

Squalo didn't say anything. He wanted to turn away from the man but his left face was in pain. He didn't feel comfortable being on his back so turned towards him taking a few more minutes to look at the man before closing his own eyes.

Xanxus opened his eyes to take a look of his lover. He didn't sleep throughout the whole night. He was busy thinking and not thinking at the same time. He was confused as hell so started planning things he should be doing after Squalo remembered. If he ever does...

"Boss?" Mammon came into the room. "I'll watch over him. You need to sleep."

"Shut up brat. I'll sleep when I want to."

He changed the subject. "You have paperwork to finish."

Xanxus didn't say anything. He stared at the silver haired beauty for a moment before getting up to leave.

Squalo woke up to the smell of french toast. He felt a churning emptiness in his stomach. He sat up to see a tray full of food and a drink on a small table next to him. Beside it was a card from Lussuria telling him to eat and get well.

He finished breakfast and then freshened up. He took a look in the mirror to see a horrible bruise at the left side of his forehead but it wasn't drastic. He remembered his dream as if it was real.

His old self wasn't in love with Xanxus. That just led to a whole new whirl wind of confusion! Lussuria told him that he made a promise to Xanxus! Mammon told him he was not ashamed of their relationship and Bel told him that he lived for him!

The man groaned in frustration. It felt like being stretched from opposite directions. Now he didn't know if he could trust what everyone tells him.

He didn't feel comfortable wearing his Varia uniform. Instead it made him shiver everytime he remembered himself smirking like a maniac about to go cause a bloody massacre. He began imagining possibilities of his old self talking about insane things to him through the mirror or giving him a personality disorder just like Jekyll and Hyde.

If he was to become his old self, he wanted to be a whole person. Not a person in need of a strait jacket.

So he settled with a plain white shirt and black jeans with boots. His old self was really into boots and leather jackets. If this wasn't an assassination organization, he would've thought they were a heavy metal rock band. He smiled at the thought of Xanxus screaming in the microphone. It would've been cute!

The man just realized he called the most terrifying and rude man he met cute. But he couldn't help thinking that he would've played the electric guitar, Mammon on the keyboard, Bel on the drums, Levi on the base guitar and Lussuria being one of the fangirls. He couldn't stop smiling at the funny thought.

"You look happy." Fon commented. They were at the backyard under the shade of a tree.

"Just thinking."

"That's good. So what do you remember?"

"Nothing. I keep having dreams though." The silver haired man responded taking a bite of the buns the child prepared for them.

"What kind of dreams?"

"Weird random dreams." The man responded uncomfortably.

"Care to explain?" Fon asked kindly making Squalo feel more at ease.

"Nothing helpful but I met my old self."

"Really? What did he say?"

"I'm not sure." Squalo lied but he didn't know exactly how helpful the kid was going to be.

"I'm sure that you know. It'll clear the mind and leave space for you to begin remembering." The ex-arcobaleno reasoned.

Squalo debated shortly with himself and then felt content. "He told me that he wasn't in love with Xanxus.."

"You're old self is not in love with him anymore?" Fon found this surprising.

"He called him a shitty boss."

"I heard you call Xanxus that every time I came here. I always thought it was just a way you showed your affection."

"We were in an abusive relationship..." Squalo lied back down on the ground looking up at the blue sky.

"That may be true but neither of you looked like you suffered from it. You should tell Xanxus this."

"Why should I tell him? It's not like he's going to listen!" The silver haired beauty shouted bitterly.

"He will listen. He's only the type who doesn't show his emotions."

"How am I suppose to tell him? Hey shitty boss, I realized I didn't love you even before the incident!" He snorted.

"You were always straight forward to begin with. Just being honest and the two of you can come up with answers."

"But he doesn't want to do anything with me." The ex-swordsman pointed out.

"It must be coming from a source of guilt. He is your boss and he gave you that mission in the first place. If you two talk, then you might fall in love with him or the opposite. It'll make it easier for you to focus on other things to regain your memory."

"...You're pretty sharp for a brat."

"It's common advice."

"Thank you..." Squalo stared at the castle not sure he should do it. He felt a pat on his back. "Take your time to build up your courage and confidence. It makes life easier." The ex-swordsman blushed from embarrassment from being read easily but appreciated it.

Squalo was walking around the castle being greeted from the other workers of the place. The place seemed pretty medieval from the dark ages. All the pictures of death, torture, lust and deceit. Rows of knight armors and weapons on the walls.

"Sir Squalo." The ex-swordsman turned around to see three men. The middle one spoke to him. "Is something wrong?"

"No. Wait, I have a few questions. Am I a bad guy or good guy?"

"It varies. We are assassins. Innocence is barely involved in our missions so the better answer would be neutral."

"I see. Was I likable?" Squalo asked with wide-eye innocence that made the men unable to say anything bad. At first it was because they might die but now it felt like they might hurt something precious.

"Uh, yes! Very much liked!" The right man responded.

"Liked indeed!" The left one included.

"Oh, that's reassuring! And I am the lover of Xanxus?" He wanted to make sure from a stranger.

"Yes! You two loved each other deeply!" The men nodded.

"But he's cold to me." Squalo pointed out.

"He's not very good at showing his emotions!" The right one answered.

"But you had no problem at all!" The left one answered.

"Sir Squalo, just like every single person in this mansion will tell you, you two were very much in love." The middle one answered wisely and Squalo felt like he could trust his words. He did hear from everyone (except Levi) that they were in fact in love.

"That's good to hear. I want to talk to him but I'm afraid that I might say or do something wrong. Is there anything I should be aware of?"

"Do not try to talk to him when he's eating or sleeping. For the rest of the time, you have the privilege to be as honest and rash as you wish with him." The middle one answered reassuringly.

"Thank you. Uhm, bye." He stated awkwardly. The three nodded and then walked away.

Squalo felt more confident but not courageous enough to face the man in question. He sighed heavily before continuing his stroll. He took a corner to accidentally bump into someone.

"Squalo! Long time no see! I heard that you had amnesia so I came here to help you. You don't remember me right? I'm Dino, the tenth boss of the Chiavarone famiglia."

"It's nice to meet you? How are you able to help?"

"We went to the same school together! Let's go now!" Dino took the man's wrist and led him out of the place.

Bel sighed loudly staring at nothing particular out the window. Flan wrapped his arms around him. "What's wrong Bel-sempai?"

"I never realized how boring it would be without Squalo shouting all the time." He sighed again.

"I could be a loud Squalo-sempai if you want."

"Nah, it wouldn't be the same."

Lussuria sighed loudly walking into the boss's office after finishing Squalo's paper work (suppose to be Xanxus's but given to Squalo). The organization needed to keep running. He noticed that Xanxus had dark bags under his eyes. "Boss, you look tired. You should rest."

"Shut up you piece of crap." The boss yawned.

Lussuria shook his head but said nothing for the sake of him. He arranged the papers on the desk. "I've finished part of Squalo's work for today." He told him lightly.

"Is he still with the brat?"

"They finished before lunch. Fon told me that he had something to tell you."

"Where the fuck is he then?" The man grumbled.

"Uhmmmm? Right! He's with Dino-san!" Lussuria dashed out of the room before the roof blew up into smithereens.

Squalo and Dino were walking through the halls of their old school. The blond man was chattering about how the old days were and then began randomly telling him stories about himself that were supposed to be funny but Squalo was blank.

Dino sighed. Even he was missing the old Squalo. At least he gave a reaction. This one was blank and more intrigued by everything like a baby.

"Hey, Squalo. Don't you want to ask anything?"

"Hmm? No. In end you'll just tell me like everyone else that Xanxus and I were in love but I find it hard to believe." He stopped walking staring down at his empty hands feeling a sense of loss but also opportunity. Yet he also felt guilty all at once. "Dino, will you hold me?"

The blond man in question blinked at him in surprise. "Squalo, what are you talking about?! We're just old school mates!"

"I know." He shrugged one shoulder with an expression that he wasn't an idiot. "But ever since I woke up, I felt like everyone is so far away. As if expecting that one person to be the only one allowed to be close to me and he isn't. It's stupid but I feel so lonely."

Dino didn't know what to say to change the person's mind. It was the first time he saw this side a Squalo. Weakness. As if the man in front of him was crumbling to pieces just to stand up. He walked over to the man and held him in his arms.

Squalo felt...nothing. He became confused by this. He stepped away with the man's arms still holding onto his staring at the man with a hurt expression.

"What's wrong?" Dino asked warily.

"No. I'm sorry. I..." He looked down feeling a crushing feeling in his chest. He pulled himself away from Dino's grip.

"Squalo, is something wrong?" Dino asked warily.

"No." He shook his head disappointedly. "I guess I was hoping that I could feel the same around someone nice like you but I guess bad boys are more my type."

"Eh? You were hoping that you would fall in love with me instead." Dino pointed at himself blushing a bit.

Squalo blushed. "Don't get the wrong idea idiot! It's not just you! I was hoping I could feel the same around any guy!"

"So you've done it with other guys too?"

Squalo steamed beat red. "Stupid! Don't make me sound like a slut!"

"No! I wasn't!"

"Idiot!" Squalo ran way wanting to get out of the awkward situation.

"Wait! Squalo!" Squalo was out of the school and made a break for it at the sidewalk. He looked back to see Dino still running after him but he stopped quickly and paled.

The man looked forward and bumped into someone. "Ah-" Before he could say anything, he was quiet when he saw that it was Xanxus. He was so close and seeing him bought extreme relief to him for some reason.

"Oi trash," Xanxus also turned quiet when the man wrapped his arms around him tightly. Xanxus was shocked at first and then calmed. He glared at Dino. "What the fuck did you do you piece of shit?"

"Uh, I-"

"He didn't do anything." Squalo said quietly.

"What was that? Speak up trash!"

"Voi, he was just showing me around the school."

Xanxus arched an eyebrow. "It's the first time you said that since we left the hospital."

Squalo blinked by confusion. "Say what?"

"Voi. It was your favorite catch phrase or something."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Whatever. Get in the car." The burned man pushed the silver haired beauty into a limo.

"Ow!" Squalo got up and arranged himself accordingly next to the man.

"Did he do anything to upset you?" Xanxus asked seriously.

"No." Squalo responded innocently.

"Then why the fuck were you being so damn emotional?" The man asked feeling irritated by the nonsense.

The ex-swordsman blushed. "I was relieved that you were here. I was beginning to get bored."

Xanxus snorted. "That's a lame as excuse!"

Squalo glared at him. "If I told you the truth, you'd kill him."

"And why the fuck would I? I don't give a shit about what happens to you."

"Then you wouldn't mind that I sleep with him?" Squalo wasn't serious but he immediately regretted that when the man glared at him. His flame taking over the space of the room that it was hard for Squalo to breathe.

"What was that trash?" He growled baring his sharp teeth.

Squalo was trembling in fear but then found reason and composure. He took a deep breath. "You said you didn't care what I'll do. Everyone said we're lovers but then you're always gone most of the day. How do I know you're not also having an affair?"

Xanxus stared at the man and then laughed! "HAHAHAHA! What is this?! Are you a fucking girl or something?!" He was laughing harder by the minute.

Squalo shined red. "VOOOI! Shut up! It's your fault I'm like this! Because of you, I can't remember shit!"

Xanxus calmed down to giggles lying back having not laughed in a long while. He felt content as if all the stress from Squalo's symptom got off his back. "Is that right? Then what do you reckon we do trash?"

The ex-swordsman was silent making an awkward face. Xanxus laughed himself almost to tears. "SHUT UP!"

"Driver stop the car." Xanxus ordered and then pushed Squalo down beneath him. "Is this what you want?" He asked huskily making the man below him shiver in scared anticipation. He chuckled lowering himself near the man's lips.

Squalo was trembling more and more the mili second he got closer. He was scared but also entranced by the heat the man's body was giving him. It felt powerful and alluring. Very different from anyone he met. He did want it and was willing but then remembered his dream. He punched Xanxus's face to the car's roof top.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

"Don't think because I have amnesia that I'm easy!" Squalo shouted in anger.

"Do you know how fucking long I've held back you trash?!" The man held the other man down glaring at him with pent of sexual frustration.

"Shut up! Don't think having sex will solve our problems!"

"Why the fuck not?!"

"Because I don't love you!"

"So?!"

"S-SO?! VOOOI! You're willing to fuck anyone with my face don't you! You don't care if I don't remember anything as long as I'm just your fuck toy! Screw you!" Alo came into the car and knocked Xanxus off of him. Squalo took the chance to run out.

"Squalo!" Xanxus called out to him but Squalo ignores and runs off through the dark alleys. "Shit! Is he trying to get himself killed!" The man gets out and chases after him.

The ex-swordsman heard his footsteps coming so he made quick haste of planning a way out. But men jumped out with guns. Squalo stopped. The men clicked their guns and the ex-swordsman did nothing.

Yet, he was saved by a powerful blast of heat melting the bullets and then burning the men to charcoal. He turned around to see Xanxus holding two guns. "What the hell were you thinking just standing there?!"

"What the hell did you expect me to do?!" He took out his sword. "I am not the same Squalo you knew before! I don't have a fucking idea how to fight!"

The burned man was still and silent glaring at him. And then he walked over to him. "You're right. You're not Squalo."

"Would you have still have sex with me even if you knew that?!"

"Fuck no. I thought you were naturally a fighter but I was wrong. You are nothing like him. You digust me."

The words stung a little but then he also felt relieved that Xanxus wasn't going to have random sex with him. The man really thought not much had changed in the man after getting the wrong idea that there was still a piece of Squalo still there. But he wasn't Squalo. Not as a whole that is. He wasn't the one Xanxus loved.

The said man was examining the smoked bodies. "They're the shits from the organization you destroyed."

"So my last mission was a fail?"

"No. You were suppose to destroy their headquarters." He walked away from the bodies and then passed Squalo but then the hopeless man grabbed his sleeve.

"Wait..." He took a few breaths and did what Fon told him to do. "Did you love the man I was before?"

"..." Xanxus took his sleeve away from his hold. "I thought you were nothing but a dog." He responded calmly and then continued walking.

Back at the mansion, Squalo was greeted happily by others. He said nothing. He went straight to his room to take a shower and then lie down on his bed taking out the journal from under his pillow.

He flipped through the pages to the last entry about Xanxus and saw in capital letters:

VOOOOOOI! HE'S A FUCKING BASTARD!

And that was the last entry.

Squalo put the book away and then Alo appeared. The ex-swordsman smiled and then caressed the shark. "Thanks for earlier." And then he immediately frowned. He heard a grumble from his stomach but he didn't feel like eating.

He was tired. He closed his eyes and was out like a light.

"The weather forecast said that there was an unexpected change of climate. There's going to be a lot of rainfall for the next few days. The weird thing is that it's directly mainly over here." Lussuria stated warily.

"Could it be because of Squalo?" Fon asked.

"He's the rain guardian so its possible." Mammon responded. "But then he never carelessly activates it."

"He did lose his memories and he came back as if he wasn't present." Fon remembered the distant glassy stare and slow movement the man had.

"He's delicate at the moment. Oh! And it turns out that we're going to have a visitors for the next few days! I never realized Squalo was so popular!" Lussuria laughed cheerily to keep the mood up.

"I heard from Xanxus that the men from the organization that Squalo destroyed are after him." Bel pointed out.

"You guys keep calling it organization. Don't they have a name?" Flan asked.

"We don't care." The Varia responded simultaneously.

"Then we should be careful about his visitors." Mammon stated. "But I have a bad feeling that something's going to happen."

"You feel it too Mammon?" Fon questioned.

Everyone stared at each other unsure of how to respond to the sense of danger about to happen.

Squalo was still asleep on his bed. Alo was right beside him asleep. He would return to his box but his master needed him most. A lion appeared in the room beside them.

The silver haired beauty woke up by the familiar heat in the room but doesn't see Xanxus Half asleep he chose to return to sleep.

The lion smacked the shark awake angering it but then it sees who it is and then calmed down. The two of them disappearing. A man appeared from the balcony taking his time entering and then staring at the sleeping man.

He swayed his hands over the body. Squalo's metal left hand returning into a normal human hand and his scars from battle completely disappear. The man took out a pair of scissors taking a strand of the beautiful silver and cuts each by each.


	4. Chapter 4

Anger settling at the pit of his stomach, Squalo was sitting on a bench next to his former self laughing at him.

"You asked if he was having an affair?! He's the shitty bossy! They're suppose to do whatever the fuck they want!"

"VOOOOOI! You two really are meant for each other! Why don't you come back now?! He's just an asshole to me! I'll never understand why you loved him!"

"Heh! You're starting to sound like me!" His former self patted the man on the back. "I'm not coming back!"

"Why the fuck not?!" The silver haired man screeched like a banshee.

"It's about time the boss moved on! Get a wife!"

"Wife? So this is what this is about?! You're running away!"

"VOOOI! I never run away! And nice moves back at the alley!"

Squalo blushed. "Shut up! I don't know anything!"

"Hahahaha! Of course you don't!"

The ex-swordsman tried not to go crazy. He sighed. "i asked him if he loved you and he said he saw you as nothing but a dog."

His former self snorted. "Hahahaha! He would say that!"

"VOOOOI! Would you stop laughing and take this seriously?! I don't want to live this life anymore!"

"VOOOOI! It's only been three days!"

"It feels like months living in this hell hole! I'm okay with everything else but I seriously can't stand that man! And this is an assassination organization and I can't even protect myself! Do you really want me to put your reputation in jeopardy!"

"Do as you like! I'll always be known once as Superbi Squalo, the greatest swords man and sword emperor ever known!" He grinned happily.

Squalo grimaced by the positive attitude. He couldn't believe this was happening to him. He placed his eyes over his hands. He growled and repeated, "I don't want to live your life anymore!"

"Then move on! You don't have to stay!"

"Uh...won't they kill us if I try to leave?"

"HAHAHAHAHA!..." The man was silent and Squalo knew something was wrong. But then his whole world began to melt all around him.

"Wait! I-" He sat up breathing heavily and then the world spun around him. He shook it off. He got and took a look in the mirror to see that the bruise was fading as a light purplish blue spot. He walked over to the bathroom.

Sitting comfortably in the tub, he tried to remember what he was panicking about but nothing came to mind. He ran his left hand through his scalp to feel the spikes of his hair. He wondered to himself why that didn't feel right.

He looked at his left hand to see its human flesh. He clenched and unclenched feeling his nails dig into his palm. He pressed the red finger tips to see it turn white and then back to red. He knew something was wrong but didn't think much of it.

Truthfully he felt...changed. A good kind of change. He ignored the disturbing feelings and relaxed.

After that, he put on a white dressed shirt, black slacks and shoes. Lussuria came into the room with a tray of breakfast but dropped it and his jaw at the sight of his teammate.

"Lussuria, you should be more careful next time. What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost!" He joked happily.

The shocked man said nothing. He knew this was Squalo but the most impossible thing happened right before his very eyes. The man he was staring at had short white silver shaggy hair with bangs.

He was in fact very handsome and a lot more manly but the fact that his hair was _**short**_, it was unbelievable. Squalo would lethally hurt anyone if they even jokingly told him to cut his hair. He thought the man would make sure whoever cut his hair would suffer so much that they would wish they could die but now...

"Lussuria? Are you having a seizure or something?" He's actually caring about his well being with a generous smile. If he didn't know better, he was acting more like-

"Squalo!"

"Hey!" The two of them locked hands and patted their backs as if they were great friends.

"I wanted to see you! Mammon told me you have amnesia!"

"Yeah. Sorry." He scratched the back of his head nervously.

"No worry. I'm Yamamoto Takeshi. You can just call me Yamamoto. You taught me how to become a better swordsman when I needed to be one. I'm here to return the favor by helping you return your memory!"

"Really? If you're a swordsman then can you teach me! I can't remember how to use a sword." He shrugged his shoulders with a nervous smile.

"Sure! Wait... Your left hand is human!"

"Huh? What do you mean? It's always been human hasn't it?"

The new visitor stared at the hand to see if there was any tricks. "Please don't mind me." He took the left hand and inspected it. It was real. "Did you have this hand before coming back?"

"What are you talking about?" Squalo took back his hand.

"Lussuria?" Yamamoto turned to the man who shook off his shock.

"No! He had his usual hand. It happened this morning."

"What are you talking about?" The silver haired man questioned warily. "My hand was always like this." He told them but he was given these strange looks. "Would you stop looking at me like that!"

"Sorry." Yamamoto apologized. "Squalo, what do you remember?"

"Hmmm? Nothing." And then Alo appeared. Squalo knelled down to pet it. "This guy has been really helpful though."

The two men standing inspected the flame and it was Squalo's own. He could be a replica but there was no illusion trick and the fact that Alo was right next to him, proved that he is the real deal.

"Squalo, why did you cut your hair?" The Vongola swordsman asked.

"What are you talking about now? It's always been this short."

"Squ-chan, did you hit your head again?" Lussuria asked in fear.

"Not that I remember."

"What do you remember after coming back from the hospital?" Yamamoto asked.

"What's with all the questions? I know that I lived here as an assassin who took suicidal missions with Bel, Levi, Lussuria, Mammon and Xanxus. And Alo here is my pet."

"And what do you think of Xanxus?"

"He's a bastard. I'm really hungry. Can we go eat breakfast before you teach me how to fight again?" He asked kindly and then walked passed them. Yamamoto walked after him and Lussuria dropped to his knees from the very big shock.

"Wait, Squalo!" The man caught up to him and they continued walking towards the dining room. "Isn't there anything else you know about Xanxus? You two were lovers."

"Lovers? I was never in love with him."

"Who told you that you were never in love with him?"

"I just know. Ever since yesterday with Dino, it didn't feel like anything special and I feel the same way around Xanxus. If we were lovers, then it must've been only pure lust and nothing else." He told Yamamoto in a civilized way that only worried the Vongola man more but said nothing more about it.

Bel heard him though. The Varia without Squalo, Xanxus and Levi were having a meeting with Flan and Fon.

"Squalo-sempai cut his hair? That is terrible." Flan stated sipping on his juice box.

"I know right! And he doesn't remember cutting it and the weirdest thing is that his left hand is human again!" Lussuria was in tears. All that beautiful hair gone!

"Could it be the work of the organization Squalo destroyed?" Fon asked.

"It's possible. Boss went out to find them and won't be back until the day after tomorrow." Mammon responded.

"But we need boss now. Squalo said that he never loved Boss and everything Squalo ever did before now was for him." Bel pointed out.

"But what motive does the enemy has for cutting his hair and turning his hand human?" Fon questioned.

"A change of identity?" Flan suggested. "Squalo-sempai joined the Varia after cutting his left arm which made him the swords emperor right?"

"And he made promise to Xanxus by growing his hair! I knew you weren't completely dense!"

"Thanks Bel-sempai?" Flan let it go and just thought of it as a complisult.

"So the enemy is trying to change Squalo's identity. But why now? They could've taken control of him before he came here." Fon pointed out.

"There was that attempt two night ago." Lussuria responded.

"But it didn't look like they were kidnapping him and we haven't found anything strange on him."

Everyone stared at each other thinking of what was possibly happening.

Squalo and Yamamoto were batting swords against each other. "You're learn pretty fast. It's as if you haven't forgotten at all." The baseball man commented when they took a break.

"I guess I was just born with it. It must be because of my lack of common sense that I wasn't able to do anything before." He sat down on the grass and smiled as if he was about to laugh.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. Just how the air tickles the back of my neck. I don't know why it feels wrong though."

"Because you used to have long hair."

Squalo gave the swordsman a look as if he had two heads. "I can't remember that. I think I'm losing my mind. People keep telling me these things but I can't remember. It feels like everything is the truth and a lie. I don't know how to explain it."

"You should relax and don't think so hard." Yamamoto adviced.

"That's what the small brat told me but I can't relax. Nothing feels right. Yamamoto..."

"Hmm?"

"Will you kiss me?"

"Hah?! Why all of the sudden?! We're just friends Squalo and Xanxus wouldn't like that!" the man gave him a struggling smile.

"I've been thinking about that and I thought I could be straight but we passed a few pretty girls before coming into the forest and I could care less. Can you help me make up my mind? Do I prefer women or do I prefer men?"

"Uh, Squalo..." Yamamoto was silent that the rustle of the leaves took its place to create the sound of the atmosphere. The swordsman wasn't seeing anyone at the moment. Well, he wishes he was but that person has been rejecting him.

Squalo with his short silver hair and innocent anticipating expression was too hard to reject. He felt the scorn of multiple rejections that he was even rejected for a simple kiss. The swordsman sympathized the man so agreed.

The man smiled happily and then closed his eyes puckering lightly. Yamamoto felt his heart beat a little but also felt reluctant because Squalo was Xanxus's lover but it was just a little kiss. He was very much in love with someone else anyway.

He kissed the man. Just a light touch on the lips before leaning away. Squalo opened his eyes and then frowned.

"Was it that bad?" Yamamoto chuckled.

"No. Just that it's the same as the others."

"That's because you're in love with me." A hand landed on Squalo's shoulder. Yamamoto stood up withdrawing his sword toward the offender. "Put away that sword young man. I just came back to get my lover. It's time to go home Squalo."

The silver haired beauty looked up and saw a dark man with long midnight blue hair reaching his waist tied up. His hazel eyes shining with a flame he felt before. "Xerxes."

"So you remember me after all my love." The man helped him on is feet and embraced him with a loving kiss.

"Squalo!" Yamamoto shouted.

The man named Xerxes smiled at the swordsman as if he was being silly. "I'm sorry for all the trouble but please tell the others that he is now mine. If they want to try to take him back then we shall fight fair. The challenge will be a fight to the death between only the bosses."

"Xerxes, what took you so long?!" Squalo shouted at him as if he as completely familiar with the man.

"I'm sorry my love. I had to prepare something and I didn't think you'd be awake earlier than what was planned. I'm sorry that I let you get kidnapped by these men."

"Oi! Squalo was not kidnapped! Squalo, this man isn't your lover! Xanxus is! He's lying to you!"

"Don't listen to him my love. You remember me right. How else would you know my name?" The man smirked. "We must go. Don't forget my message young man. Catherine," A white tiger appeared behind him along with Alo. "Let's go." They dissolved with the wind.

"Squalo!"

A/N: Xerxes! Xanxus! Do you get it?! HAHAHAHA! I'm so lame. T_T

But yeah, Squalo is being kidnapped by Xerxes making him believe that he's his lover and all.

To keep your mind on track of the timeline

First day: Came back from the hospital and Xanxus and him gets off on the wrong foot.

Second day: He meet Alo. Discovers a little more about himself from members of Varia (which constantly goes back to the fact that Xanxus and him are lovers) and a journal from the eight years teen Squalo was waiting for him. Levi tries to make him run away which he agreed to because Xanxus is a rude bastard and wishes to have nothing to do with him (But that's cause of the guilt Xanxus feels but doesn't show it)

Third day: Squalo is told by his old self that he's not in love with Xanxus but others tell him he is leading to doubt and confusion. He meets Dino, test out if he can feel attracted to others but just feels disappointed by the single act of affection (same with Yamamoto) and then feels more confused when Xanxus tries to have sex but doesn't tell him that he loves him. Instead calls him a dog.

**In short Squalo knows very little the last three days and doesn't believe Xanxus truly loves him. He has amnesia so doesn't know who the man is and Xanxus has a hard time showing his emotions also feeling guilty for what happened. Now he believes Xerxes is his real lover by the similar flame and that he is more forward with showing his affection in a comforting way than Xanxus 'let's just have sex and you're just a dog to me'. **

**Seriously jackasses who can't express their feelings, just do it for the sake of your love ones with amnesia because they will be taken away. Sigh~**


	5. Chapter 5

Xanxus came back a day earlier than Mammon had said when he was given the news of what happened. Everyone disappeared from his sight because they knew from the uncontrollable roaring flames he was giving off that he was in semi-murderous rampage mode.

He kicked the doors open to his office to see his usual lackeys with Fon, Flan and Yamamoto present. Yamamoto told his boss of what had happened but the Vongola wasn't going to take part of this since it was strictly Varia business.

"Where the fuck is he?!" He roared.

"He's been taken by the boss of the Hellion family, Xerxes. You won't be able to have him back unless you challenge him to a battle to the death." Mammon responded.

"Then I accept their fucking challenge!"

"Then the challenge is accepted." The women from the Cervello organization arrived.

Squalo was sitting at the end of a bed in a room decorated in blue and red with black walls. There were two big glass circled windows showing the inside of the sea and the many undersea life passing by.

He was staring at the ring on his left ring finger. Xerxes gave it to him yesterday. Told him that he always wore it as a promise to him. It felt right somehow. He seemed like the type of guy to keep promises.

Xerxes entered the room as handsome as ever. "Is there something wrong my love?"

Squalo gave a small smile. "I'm still confused."

"What do you mean?" The blue-haired man sat next to him. "Tell me everything." He smiled charmingly.

"I don't know who I am."

"You're Superbi Squalo, my love. You dedicated your life to be by my side."

"And I am proud! But I feel like I should be angry. Furious! And every time I try to find that source of anger, I think back to that man the Varia keeps telling me is my lover. Why would they tell me that?"

Xerxes took the silver-haired beauty's hands in his. "They wanted to keep you away from me by tricking you into loving their own boss. You are the greatest swordsman anyone has ever known."

"He sure had a funny way of showing it." Squalo bit his bottom lip staring at the man. "Did you love the man I was before?"

The said man chuckled and caressed the swords man's cheek lovingly. "Of course my love. I love you." He kissed the back of his hand and then kissed the ring.

"Then why can't I get Xanxus off my mind? Ever since I woke up and saw him, I can never stop thinking about him and when I don't, I feel so frustrated and sick. I'm sorry. I don't love him. I don't! But I can't stop thinking about him."

"Shhhh." The man ran his hand through the shaggy spikes of his hair smiling at him. "That's because the first man you saw was him. It's just like a baby waking up and seeing the first person, and he was there before me. Plus our flames almost feel the same right?" He emitted his flames a little and Squalo blushed a bit.

"Yeah. They almost feel like his but his own was a lot more dangerous. Loud and rash. Unpredictable. Powerful...But your own is better!"

"You're memory is still recovering. I'm sure you'll think mine is much better than his. You know everyone in the Varia kept telling you lies. You can't stop thinking about him because you believe that there's some special purpose of why he was the first person you saw but there isn't. I'm sorry I had to make you go through this."

"Then help me forget him."

The man smirked. "Better yet, let me help you hate him."

"TWO DAYS! I WANT TO KILL THE BASTARD NOW!" Xanxus complained.

"Before a battle, both sides will have equal time to get ready." One of the Cervello women responded in mono tone. But the distance the women had from the man said enough.

"FUCK THAT! I'M GOING TO KILL THEM RIGHT NOW!"

"If you break the rules, then Squalo is immediately theirs and you lose your position as boss over the Varia."

"What are you talking about?!" Bel questioned.

"This is a competition over prices. If they lose, they lose both their boss and Squalo but then if you lose, you lose your position Xanxus and Squalo as well. You were wagering for Squalo's life and Squalo wishes to stay with them which means that you are taking away his free will so they are wagering for your position over the Varia."

Everyone except Mammon who was absent glared at them. Xanxus was silent. He didn't want to lose his position. He was the fucking boss of Varia and no one will ever take his power away! No one ever again! But he didn't want to lose Squalo too. Yes he was a fucking hard ass and he said so many times that he didn't give a fuck about what happened to Squalo but...

He clenched his fists. "Fine. Two days." He growled.

Mammon came into the room with a painting of the lion and shark. "Bo-" Bel grabbed him and everyone walked out of the office. Before the door was shut, something was already broken and more followed.

"What did you find Mammon?" Lussuria asked.

"I decided to search Squalo's room for clues and I discovered this." He showed the painting. "Squalo didn't want to sell this painting without a reason. It turned out that their was video cameras inside the painting."

"So Squalo was a spy?" Flan questioned.

"No. I also found this." He took out the journal entitled 'Eight Years'.

"It's his old journal. Why does that matter?" Lussuria asked.

"But it was covered in leather. The journal Squalo kept wasn't like this. I removed the leather and there was a mind altering machine in it. I bet the cameras were inplanted so they knew the journal would stay under the pillow he slept on."

"He told me he had a dream that his old self said he didn't love Xanxus anymore!" Fon stated.

"That's why he wasn't surprised by his human hand or short hair!" Yamamoto stated.

"But why did the Hellion family go through such great lengths over here? They could've kidnapped Squalo any time from the hospital or the island." Fon pointed out.

"Do you want me to spell it out for you?"

"It's you!" Yamamoto withdrew his sword. "It's the man who took Squalo!" Everyone else got into battle mode.

The man raised his hand as a sign of peace. "I'm not here to fight. I'm here to reveal my beautiful plan." He took a seat crossing his legs like a gentle men and then placed his smirking face on his fist. "You are wondering why everything happened as it did."

"If you think-"

"Mammon." Fon interrupted kindly. "Tell us."

"Let's start from the beginning. You heard my family trying to take over your organization which is true so you sent the beloved Squalo to destroy us by destroying the base of our territory which is in the middle of the pacific ocean under the sea. He really does take impossible missions."

"Get on with it!" Mammon shouted impatiently.

"Young men are impatient these days. I was a little angry that you'd think one man could accomplish such a mission but when I watched him fight, I fell in love." He chuckled. "But then of course, Squalo was in love with Xanxus. So when he destroyed most of my bases, and I couldn't do anything about it, I knew I just had to have him so I took away his memories but then I knew that I would be bored of him some day. Don't get me wrong, the first days were amazing! But then bases and entertainment don't come cheap these days so I decided to get revenge."

"You knew Squalo would be found on that island and we'd take him back." Bel stated.

"And you knew we'd try to convince Squalo that he was in love with Xanxus!" Lussuria gasped.

"But it would have never worked making Xanxus more worked up at the feeling of loss and he hates to lose what's his. You took hm back knowing it would make our boss accept the challenge. That explains the sudden attacks from your family on Squalo. It was only a message that you were coming but we didn't realize it which made you laugh at our stupidity! It's all a game to you now!" Mammon clenched his jaw. "You bastard!"

"But there's something I don't get." Flan said with his finger up. "It has nothing to do with Squalo by why did you name your pet Catherine?"

"Why are you asking a question like that?!" Almost everyone shouted at the aloof male.

"I just wanted to know." The aloof man said as if he was angry but was as aloof as ever.

"Well I must be going." The man faded away.

Everyone knew it was hopeless. They couldn't break the rules and it wasn't their fight except Xanxus's.

"Why did you ask a stupid question like that?" Bel asked back at his room.

"Because his tiger's name is Catherine. You didn't give Mink a girl name." The mink appeared. The frog man scratched its chin. The mink kissed him affectionately.

"That's because he's a Storm mink and a boy!"

"But that's what I mean Bel-sempai. Everyone else's own either matches their gender. Even mine."

"Of course it does!" Bel grimaced because Fran's own was a puppet of him.

"Then why is Xerxes-sempai's own a girl?" Flan questioned. Bel was stunned silent staring at his simple yet very cute lover. "I'm not that dense! Stupid Sempai!"

"You're right. Let' me show you my apology as a prince." He got on top of his lover and removed his bangs. The expressionless face of Fran always blushed and showed a very cute expression when he got a look of them.

"You're very sneaky Sempai."

"Because I'm a prince."

It finally passed two days, Xanxus and the others went to the destination spot that took place on a stone ring surrounded by a circle of mountains. The sun was up high for the beginning of the battle of the Varia against the Hellion.

"Wow! I never knew there was a battle place like this!" Lussuria stared at the beautiful area.

"That's because we made it during these two days!" One of the Hellion family members shouted happily.

"Wait a minute..." Xanxus noticed it. "THERE WAS A TWO DAY DELAY BECAUSE YOU FUCKING WANTED TO MAKE THIS!"

"Of course." Another member sleepily responded. "A beautiful battle for love is about to begin. What's better than fighting on a stone surrounded by strong mountains you are bound to demolish and cause landscapes to perish by the choice of love over sanity and life of others."

"That is so beautiful!" Lussuria was punched silent bleeding severly but healed instantly.

"Such bad manners!" Another member said in a british tone.

"SHUT UP!"

"And I thought the boss's lover used to be loud." Another chuckled.

"Now. Now. It's time for the battle to begin." Xerxes told them calmly with a charming smirk.

Xanxus snarled at him. "Ready to die?"

"Die? Oh, oh, you're not fighting me. You're fighting him." He stepped aside for a silver haired man dressed in a golden outfit similar to what a prince would wear. Everyone gasped except Xanxus.

"Who's this guy?" Their boss questioned.

Everyone on the Hellion family laughed. "Right. Right. You obviously don't remember because I cut his hair. Xanxus meet Squalo, my lover and my boss." Xanxus's eyes widened and saw that the man was in fact Squalo.

"That's not fair! The deal was that we would get Squalo back if we won!" Mammon yelled indignantly.

"And you will have him back. What's left of him that is. Ask the Cervello."

The women nodded and one of them said. "The challenge was a battle of the death between bosses. Squalo was the boss before the challenge was accepted. And you agreed to have Squalo back but you didn't say you would want him alive."

The other one spoke up, "If you back out now, the Varia will belong to the Hellion family."

Xanxus snorted with a grin. "I always wondered when I get to seriously fight the shark without some loyalty love shit in the way. Let's get this over with." He walked forward to the middle. Squalo did the same. The two ex-lovers staring at each other. "Show me what you got trash." Squalo said nothing. Only glaring at the man.

"The rules are that no one is allowed to interrupt the match and neither teams outside of the match is allowed to put direct damage on the other directly. The first one to be dead with neither a brain nor heart pulse shall be the loser and the living one the winner."

"The boss of the Hellion family Squalo and the boss of the Varia, Xanxus! Let the battle begin!"

Xanxus clicked the trigger in a mere second launching a powerful blast of heat but Squalo was quick to leap up and land behind the man. The burned man quickly used his second gun to blast behind him throwing the man to a distance.

"VOOOI! Is that all you got?! I expected you to be harsher than this!" Squalo grinned just like his old self which seemed to be more of a relief on the Varia side. The silent was creepy.

"Heh! Just wearing you down trash. You know how submissive you get when I do that." The Varia boss grinned naughtily but Squalo gave back a disgusted look.

"Stop lying to me!" He charged with his sword in his human left hand. He was prepared to attack but his sword was caught in the man's hand.

"What the hell is wrong with your left hand?" He questioned glaring at it. "You're not Squalo."

"Yes I am! I am Superbi Squalo and you are not my lover! All of you are lying to me!" He shouted trying to get his sword back but the man won't even budge.

"We're not lying to you. I told you. You belong only to me trash."

"VOOOI! Stop telling me these lies! I will fight and die only for Xerxes because he's the man I love!"

Half of Squalo's face was burned and blood spilled by a slightly torn jaw but a few teeth were definitely broken. But he didn't let go of his sword. The organs in his stomach felt rearranged and trying desperately to get back to it right place before all of the air was sucked right out of him. He knew one of his broken ribs might've punctured one of them. He coughed out blood and then got a few more blows to the face and the side of his body. But he still didn't let go of his sword.

"Squalo, Squalo," Xerxes called out. "Good job. You made him angry just like I told you to. I'll make sure to give you a treat when this is all over." He leered at the bleeding and bruised man.

Squalo smiled at Xanxus. "Yes my love. I love only you." The swordsman retaliated the man's hold by taking out a second sword. Xanxus quickly grabs that one with his other hand. "Alo!" Squalo shouted and the shark appears fierce as ever.

"But he didn't put his ring to the box!" Yamamoto shouted.

"That's because back home we discovered a way to release our pets by voice command just for the special occasion. That's why Alo was able to appear without Squalo activating its box." One of them responded.

Xanxus gripped the swords with his bloody hands and tore them apart before turning back stabbing the shark right in the gills. Alo whined in pain. "VOOOI! You asshole!"

"What?" Xanxus asked with a smirk. "All because you said some pretty words to another man, you think I'd be jealous and lose control? I'm not pathetic like you."

"See, see, Squalo. I told you that he wasn't your lover. I am. Now take this more seriously. The chitter chatter is making me bored." Xerxes smiled happily.

"Yes my love." Squalo responded and dashed as water poured out of the stone from holes on it. The man with the broken sword was suddenly molded back to it old shape.

Xanxus took out his gun shooting a burst of wrath but Squalo disappears while water rise behind him and reappears behind him. Xanxus uses his other gun but Squalo quickly disappears rising the water. He does it to every corner of the man.

He quickly uses the bud of flame to get out. Squalo appears to the right. The man shoots but Squalo disappears and then Xanxus found his arm cut off.

"Xanxus!" Everyone watches the man fall to the ground on his feet. The man was furious at the loss.

Squalo was standing near but not moving and not saying anything.

"What? You haven't seen an armless man before?" He questioned staying calm.

The silver haired beauty charged. Xanxus shot another burst of wrath towards him but Squalo disappears and does the same move again.

"He's doing it again!" Bel shouted.

"Why is Xanxus-sempai losing?" Flan asked. It was his first time to see his boss losing. But he was quickly mistaken when Xanxus didn't fall the same mistake and shot Squalo right through his heart.

The man falls to the ground. "Is he dead?" Yamamoto asked.

"No." One of the Cervello women responded.

Squalo stood up and the burned mark on his chest instantly healed. "What the hell?!" Xanxus knew Lussuria could heal but this didn't make sense.

"Ai, ai. Isn't it obvious." Xerxes chuckled. "Squalo is using up every once of his flame. Just like you Xanxus by combining the flame of the storm and Sky, my love is combining the flame of the rain and sun. He's putting in 150% into his moves."

"150-He's going to burn out!" Mammon shouted.

"That means he'll die either way. The only way you can win Xanxus is by completely obliterating the man to nothing."

"Bastards! I'm gonna-"

"No Mammon! This is Xanxus fight!" Fon reminded his beloved who clenched his jaw and cursed mentally knowing that there's nothing they can do either way.

The fight was getting hectic. Xanxus looked like he was losing his cool and Squalo tore new wounds into the man as a mockery of mercy to keep his last arm. But everyone saw how pale and bluish the swordsman was becoming from over exerting himself. The flame or rain and sun didn't mix well. Steam was rising out of the man's body.

Some of the Hellion family members were finally complaining about the delay of death while the Varia and others were shouting random things. Flan was staring at Xerxes knowing something was wrong and then his eye spotted something in the man hand.

Flan took one of Bel's knives and knocked off a bag from his hand releasing a blue gas.

Squalo who knocked Xanxus off his feet, straddling him to the ground with his sword up prepared to take his life but after Flan's action he paused, and Xanxus shot his gun first releasing a single power blast of heat when he panicked. Everyone except Squalo shielded themselves and as promised half of the mountains were burned off.

Squalo's entire being perished to ashes. The alive burned man was still with wide suprised eyes at the black ashes blown away right in front of him. For the first time in public for years, a tear strolled down from the corner of his eye.

"The winner is the Varia boss, Xanxus!" The cervello women announced and then left.

"Xanxus!" Everyone from the Varia side ran over to him but all he does was dropped his gun. For a moment and only a moment a mili second before he fully clicked the gun, he saw Squalo's horrified face.

"BWAHAHAHAHA!" The Hellion family dropped down laughing hysterically. "That was epic! I've never been this entertained all my life!"

"Youu-youuu-yoouuuu bastards!" Mammon released his illusionary tentacles. But they were immediately cut off by a member who has been hiding its face under a hood and mask. He removed them and revealed to be Squalo still with short hair and a human hand. "What?"

Xerxes stood up controlling his giggles. "Ha. Ha. The one you fought was a clone of Squalo. Four days ago, I decided that I didn't like to just end things too badly. Not good for the soul! So three nights ago, I had one of my men get a sample of Squalo to create a clone which was another reason I need the two days and we switched them before the match. Of course we also gave Squalo a human left hand just for the heck of experimenting our boundaries of science."

"So you were just playing games with us." Fon stated.

"Yes. More or less. The one your friend knock out of my hand was in fact a bag holding Squalo's memories. Right now, Squalo is in the middle of repairing its mind accepting the memories."

The said man fell asleep. Xanxus ran over to him holding him near.

"Looks like its done. Well then, we'll be off!"

"Don't think this is over! I will kill you for this!"

"For what? We're called the Hellion family for a reason. Plus You have him back and I never laid a hand on him. Why would I do that to my brother's boyfriend." Xerxes turned into a woman.

"Xandria!"

"This was revenge for all those years of being an asshole Xanxus!" She smirked. "I told you I would get my revenge." She winked and then the Hellion family disappeared.

"Ah, that explains why she called her tiger Catherine." Flan stated. "She's a woman."

A/N: No, Xanxus doesn't have a sister in real life or manga or anime life. That was just for shock value! Plus, boys be aware of all the horrible things your sisters can do to you.


	6. Chapter 6

"VOOOOOOOOOOOI!" The scream shook the entire castle in the middle of the night.

"He's awake." Mammon said tiredly.

"Yes. But we all know who wants to see him the most." Fon and him fell back to sleep.

"Do you think Sempai will cut off his left hand again?" Flan asked. Bel shrugged and they fell back to sleep. Everyone in that castle fell back to sleep except for one person.

Xanxus walked briskly to the man's room hearing his screams. "WHO CUT MY HAIR?! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HAND?! WHOEVER DID THIS IS GOING TO PAY!" He entered the room and cooly crossed his arms with a glare.

"Shut up trash. You're waking up the whole place." He said calmly.

Squalo gave him an expression of suprised and then horror. "Don't look at me!" He jumped onto his bed hiding his head.

Xanxus walked over to him. "Oi, do you remember anything?"

"..."

"You answer my question when I ask you."

"..."

"I said-" Xanxus removed the pillow and then paused when he saw that the man was crying.

"I'm sorry." He sobbed.

The burned man stared at the sobbing beauty and then ran his hand over the man's short hair making Squalo twitch and frowned with more tears flowing. "It's just hair idiot."

"But I made a promise to you that I would never cut it until our goal was reached! It was the only thing connecting us and now-" Squalo was kissed silent. The two lovers held onto one another kissing deeply that Squalo gasped for air when the man leaned back.

The silver haired beauty felt his heart melt when the man stared at him with such lonely attentive eyes as if he was seeing himself when those eight years were finally gone. Xanxus embraced him a few more moments.

"Voi, it's only been less than a month and you're already like this."

"I hate you trash." He leaned away staring at the man again.

Squalo smiled knowing that Xanxus didn't mean it the wrong way. "How do you think I felt those last eight years when you were frozen. Always there but unable to hold you." He frowned at the memory.

Xanxus said nothing but the look of need in his eyes said enough. He kissed below the ear of the man and then trailed down stripping himself from his jacket. Squalo quickly removed his clothes too but couldn't reached his pants when the man took his perk nipple into his mouth. "Ah!"

Xanxus loved the sound of his moans. His naked hands roaming the man's new beautiful unscarred body. He licked the body loving the taste of the man. He took off the man's pants when he was reaching lower. Squalo gasped when his length was taken and devoured hungrily.

"No! Wait!" But Xanxus doesn't listen. He unmercifully proceeded to give the man undying pleasure that Squalo came quickly. The pleasured man found his leg raised and his inner thigh of kissed and licked until bitten. He moaned loudly and then winced when the man drew blood that was soon licked up and blew on making the silver haired beauty shiver in painful delight.

The man above continued kissing down his leg to his toes and then licked in between them creating a delightful tickling feeling make him hard again and his hole twitching for more.

"Xanxus, now." He pleaded breathlessly.

The said man met him at eye length and kissed him sensually before turning him on his knees thrusting his full length into him at the first thrust. Squalo screamed in pain mixed pleasure and continued when the man fucked him unmercifully. Lying his body on top of him emitting the powerful delicious heat for the shark to devour.

He kissed the man while running his hands all over the man's body. He flipped Squalo onto his back and fucked him fast and hard.

"Xan-Xanxus! You're more excited than usual!" He shouted.

"Because it feels like I'm fucking another man." His thrust became more excited.

"VOOI!" He was angry but his anger turned into shock that his body was acting up to the statement making him harder.

"Did you just get tighter?" The man grinned at his lover.

"That's because it feels like I'm having an affair with boss!" He was panting when his body felt like it was overheating by the naughty thoughts in his head.

Xanxus continued to stare at the man who had his eyes shut and mouth wide open screaming in pleasure. His body covered in sweat making wet sounds as they collided together. His eyes suddenly opening looking as if he was caught doing something wrong. His body arches as he came along with Xanxus.

The man withdraws making the cum spill out. Tired he lies back on top of Squalo.

"Voi, you're heavy!" Squalo complained.

"Shut up trash. How long did you fucking think I waited?" The room was silent and the two stared at each other again. "Don't you ever let someone else take you away from me again." He ordered.

"Even if you tell me to, it wasn't like I was doing it of my own free will!"

"Squalo!" He glared at him but that glare faltered and holds the man close again. "I'm going to be honest only this once. When I thought I killed you, I thought I couldn't live anymore...I love you Squalo."

Squalo was completely shock. It was the first time he heard Xanxus tell him I love you. He holds the man near. "I'm glad I have my left hand back. I get to feel more of Xanxus. And I promise now that I'll never cut my hair until I'm completely sick of you."

Xanxus snorted. "What kind of promise is that?"

"But that's impossible isn't it? Reaching our goal was almost impossible but me ever leaving your side, with my free will that is, will never happen. Even when I die, I'll always be by your side."

Xanxus stared at his lover and then laughed. "Lussuria was right! You are watching to many Italian soap operas!"

Squalo blushed. "Idiot!"

The next morning, everyone greeted Squalo in his bed since his legs could barely walk from the continuation they had after that.

"Hey, hey!" Xandria was almost killed by her brother. "Seriously, Xanxan, it was just a joke!"

"Making him kill the man he loves is a joke to you!" Mammon was being held back by Fon.

"I told Xanxan that I would make him meet his ultimate despise if he ate my cookie!"

"Over a damn cookie!"

"It was chocolate!"

"Anyway I just dropped by to return this." She tossed the metal hand. "In case you ever decide to take away the precious gift of a new hand and a flawless body! That was a thank you present for the hair!"

"VOOOOI! What did you do with my hair?!"

"Create a wig of course! Thanks to you we got all the money we need for repairs and entertainment! Tata!" She faded away again.

"Do you have anymore siblings?" Squalo asked his lover bitterly and he shrugged. "What do you mean you don't know!"

Ten more year later Squalo got back his long hair and still living happily(?) with his lover Xanxus and everyone else. Except for the visits from the Hellion family.

The End!

A/N: Hope I didn't bore you to badly!


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